Hmm.

Nicer cars, shorter skirts. And this thingamabob. Like a newspaper, but shinier.

I don't know where I am, but I like it.

Wonder who runs the crime in this 'burg?

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: impressed

Can't find Mo anywhere. No sign of her at her house, her office is rubble... And Turner is gone, too. For once, considering what's going on, I'm not even thinking he caused this. Well, directly.

Tried tracking her, but without her blood, I have to rely on regular old skills, and that's a mite impossible when she shimmers. Her old office building's wreckage makes me sneeze, and none of my contacts will talk to me, what with random demons popping up to kill me and all. Whoever they are, I got on their bad side in a hurry.

Hello, who's this? Gotta go, a rather severe looking woman just found my hidey hole, and

///connection lost at source

They're dead, everyone that was in on the attack. I couldn't find you, but I sure as hell found them. Only problem that I see is that those four sure weren't all that were involved.

And I managed to get most of that stuff you wanted before the D'nex talisman burned out. Handy thing, that, keeping those shamans and such from spotting me looting the Limey's office. Got most of the books, some other... stuff, and I nabbed a few of those cars, too. Security on that garage was so bad, I'm surprised that they were still there for me to steal.

I dropped the stuff where we discussed. Hey, aren't they going to be mad that it's gone? I don't need W&H on my tail, too...

Morrigan is missing.

There's a hell of a lot of blood in her apartment. Whoever it was, she did a lot of damage to them. The problem is that it complicates my job immensely. I track by blood scent... mystically, granted, but that's the heart of it.

Crap, what am I doing typing, when Mo is missing?

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: aggravated

This wooden bench is old and hard, worn by a hundred years of boredom, hope, and fear. And it's damn uncomfortable to sit on.

Maybe I've watched too many John Woo movies. The hero, distraught and hurt, seems to find solace and peace in the ancient chapel, at least for a time. But this one smells of disappointment, and bitterness, and cheap incense. Whatever hope this offered died during the Renaissance.

It was a mistake to come here, I know. My kind has never been welcome in the houses of the "Holy". But after all that I've done, I don't know who I am anymore, what I am.

You can say that I was possessed. I was. I had no say in what he did. Well, that's not entirely true. I couldn't control his actions or thoughts, but I could subtly suggest things to his subconscious. There is a reason why Balor wasn't harmed, after all.

But when he took Balor, and kept him safe from Turner... part of me thought that maybe he was right. And part of me, a part that I don't want to listen to, enjoyed seeing Turner powerless. In pain. like maybe, once, he could see how it felt to want something more than anything else, and be powerless to achieve it.

Maybe I should confess that to the ancient priest falling asleep in the confessional...

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I am a demon, I have coveted my neighbors wife, I don't even believe in your god, and I touch myself impurely. A-freakin'-Men."

He'd have a heart attack.

This is a waste of time. There is no solace here. There aren't even any damn doves.

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: morose

I'm not sure what's real anymore. Am I really back in my body, alone? Is it mine again? Is Raynor really gone?

I don't knoiw if it was a punishment or a reward, getting to be human for a day. I was reminded how fragile they are, weak and breakable. But what was this supposed to show me? I have all of these powers, but that didn't stop me from being possessed, having my body used to do horrible things. Is something trying to tell me that it's all futile, that no matter what you are, it'll all end bad, and you're just powerless?

I have to figure out a way to live with the unlivable with. It caused all of this. I can't make it go away, or change it. It's who I am, and until I can change that, I need to be by myself for a while.

I am keeping the new wardrobe that whoever occupied my body bought, though. Time to ease back on the whole cowboy schtick a bit.

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: crushed

Whoa!

Where the hell am I? And why is everything spinning? I only drank one beer, really.

... Hey, I shaved this morning. Why do I have stubble again? And a really big chin? And...

Ah, no. That spell with that... Raynor... guy. They musta messed it up, somehow. And now I'm in Morrigan's pet demon. Who was apparently drunk. And by the taste in my.... his... mouth, he must have drinking brake fluid.

I need to find mom Piper and the other Charmed Ones. I'd better...

I'd better sit here for a little while longer. At least he was on the floor already. How much does a demon have to drink before he's this drunk?

Ok, what can I do from here on the floor. This guy can throw lightning, teleport, and track people somehow.

Just need a little nap...

So this is what "Macho" feels like...

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: drunk

/Firewalled against The Seer, Raynor and any of their allies

He knows that I'm awake again. I haven't much time.

He's renewing the spell tonight, the one that hides him. There's a chance that...

Crap, he's on to me. Gotta go.

He's the last place that you'd ever look...

/End firewall

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: nervous

Sleeping well, Turner? Jameson? You've got your son back, and now you can turn your attentions toward

/Firewalled against everyone but Prue

I don't have long.

It's me. Whoever the hell I am anymore. That's not right, damn it. He can't destroy me, not yet, and for some reason, the Seer won't pull my soul out.

This isn't coming out right. It's harder than I thought, trying to take back control of your own body.

I have less time now than before.

He's in my body, controlling it. Raynor. His damned essence was somehow put into my body by the Seer. He's a telepath, that's why Morri can't find him, and he... he's not stronger than me, nope, just... more experienced. He did.. things...

Still can't think straight. Don't let Morrigan do it. I don't want her there. It's not right. And no way is Cole gonna kill me. No way. That would be just too damn much.

I'm getting ahead of myself. Someone has to vanquish me, kill Raynor before he can...

Don't let Morrigan do it. Please. She shouldn't have to go through that, too.

And when I'm gone, tell her that I alwa

/End firewall

How odd. Where was I?

Oh, yes. Soon. Very soon.

Sleep well.

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: exhausted

Bravo. You found a way through my cloaking spells, and pulled the brat home. He was becoming tiring, anyways...

Needless to say, you're not going to find me where he was kept. I wish that I can say that I will miss the Luxor... but that would be a lie. Next time that I kidnap someone, I'm staying at the Bellagio, and mystical architectrure be damned.

I think that we can call round one... a tie.

/Firewalled against everyone but myself and the Seer

Damn them! While I was rapidly losing enthusiasm with this kidnapping fiasco, I was the one to decide when it ended, not them. They will pay. Now, the gloves are off.

I'm done with this subtlety. Perhaps it's time to start letting the Underworld know that I'm back, and recruit the various factions to my banner.

I'm going to go kill a lot of people, and then perhaps a nice dinner. I'm famished.

/End firewall

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: enraged

/Firewalled against all but The Seer and myself

While I am enjoying baiting Belthazor, and Morrigan's confusion is exquisite, I'm beginning to to tire of this ploy. It doesn't appear to be actually working. Amazingly enough, whatever loathsome thing Cole does, they forgive him. Attacking innocents, kidnapping... all get a free pass. He must be holding something over them. Perhaps if I can figure out what is. I can save them, and seem the hero. And take away some of his support...

I also am getting tired of my current abode. While its curious form and construction serve very well to ward us from scrying and summoning, the room service is atrocious, the view is lacking, and everything has an obnoxious "L" on it. I'm going out for some decent cuisine... Matthias will watch the boy. He seems to be having the first stirrings of conscience... I don't know how long his loyalty to the host body will keep him here. If Cole hadn't gone on his rampage, I'm not sure that he would be here now. Perhaps another telepathic suggestion would help.

I need something to stop Cole. Any ideas are welcome...

/End firewall

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: bored

Thank you, Cole.

You have, in one action, completely validated my fears. What better way to show that I'm right about you being too violent, too unstable, and too frankly dangerous to be around your son than to assault his grandparents and kidnap his aunt, who are all completely uninvolved? And if this doesn't work, perhaps he'll threaten to destroy random cities until he gets his way.

This is actually lower than I thought that you would sink, Cole. Congratulations for shocking even me.

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: impressed

This is an open letter, to everyone that would care. I've disabled comments, to let everyone regain some measure of composure before a dialogue begins.

As you have surmised, I have removed Balor from the dangerous situation that he was in. With Cole steady losing his hold on his darkside, I was afraid that he would do something to the boy, either take him from his mother or harm him. I could not in good conscience allow this to occur. Cole's jihad against anything even remotely related to the underworld is finally reaching its denoument, and I fear its inevitable ending.

Until things change, know that he is someplace safe from harm.

I will be in touch.

/Firewalled against all but The Seer

Why am I having such problems suppressing this host bodys original inhabitant? He should be fully subsumed, yet he continues, in small ways, to subtly attempt to warn those around him. I have to be careful, not overplay my hand until he is completely neutralised.

He hates Belthazor Cole nearly as much as I do. The only explanation is that he actually does have a soul, and this "love" that he feels for Morrigan is enabling him to thwart my will.

A hundred years of bitterness will prove to be his undoing, I believe. Unleashed, it will more than keep him busy, unable to interfere. Perhaps it will even bring him onto my side...

My attempts to sow mistrust are proceeding apace. I believe that the ghost is the way into the Charmed ones' confidence. With a bit of luck, I can turn them against Cole and my precious Morrigan. And then...

/End firewall

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: aggravated

...

The hell?

That idiot Turner smears into my flat, mad as a hatter, ranting that I'm out of control, that he used his extensive resources to track down who's been stalking Prue... and that it's me.

Let's leave out questions like why and how... no, let's go back to "Why".

You know what, I'm not in the mood for this, right now.

Thanks for not letting him vanquish me, Mo. I wish that I could be sure that it was because you believed me.

I need to pass out. This hurts, a lot. Anybody else want to come over and beat on me, ask Turner. I'm sure that he'll give you directions.

/Firewall against all but the Seer.

Thank you, Turner. This was just what I needed to take complete control. The impotent rage provided the energy that I needed, while simultaneously breaking down his last defenses.

I'm back, Morrigan, to take back what is mine.

/End firewall

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: sore

I swore that I wouldn't do it again, but I guess I did. Damned if I remember it, though. I'm getting seriously tired of waking up in a strange place with no memory of how I got there. Last thing that I remember is arguing with Turner about his exalted rule of the Underworld, though I can't for the life of me figure why I'd remotely care. If he wants to believe that he was the Emperor of Greenland, sole monarch of it's 5,000 inhabitants... good for him.

Anyways, yeah, back. The funny part? It takes a lot of alcohol to affect me like that. The drunk cowboy demon thing is mostly an affectation. I'm not going to do this again, dammit. I'm no use to anyone when this happens.

/Firewall against all but the Seer

My control has now grown to the point that I can essentially take control at will, though still for relatively limited periods of time. Since I have no wish for discovery at this time, I have resorted to the subterfuge of making this worthless shell believe that he was on a lost weekend somewhere.

The meeting with the key people from the Brotherhood went better than expected. Some few of them have been chafing under the current rulership, and have been smart enough to keep silent about it. After a suitable demonstration, they accepted that I was who I said that I was. When the time comes to return, they will support my bid for power. For their own reasons, of course, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

I also atempted to contact the Power Brokers for some upgrades. While Zhotars are more powerful than I gave them credit for, I'll need much more to accomplish my goals.

The plan involving the ghost goes apace, as well. The paranoia generated is most refreshing.

More later.

/End firewall

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: worried

Went by Mo's for dinner tonight.

We haven't been talking for a long time, since before I... went on that binge. Yeah.

Anyways, we talked a lot about her sister Maeve, the good old times, and the bad. So much happiness, so much pain... I'm glad that she got it out. It was obviously something that needed to be done. I hated to see her cry, but she seemed to feel better afterwards. It's a woman thing, I guess.

I told her that I was trying to turn over a new leaf, be better, more focused. I've squandered enough time, enough life. If anything, this has showed me that life is short, and regret is too heavy a load to bear.

/Firewalled against all but the Seer

I took control tonight at dinner. Though it was for but a moment, I did it. And her tears were as delicious as I remember.

I need to rest now, regain my energies. I may not update again for a few days. I must not be discovered, and the stress of my latest accomplishment might have had some adverse effects on the host body.

/End firewall

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: contemplative

/Firewalled against everybody but the Seer

Every day I gain a bit more control. Now, with a great deal of effort, I can take limited control of this weak body while he sleeps. For now, I'm still essentially powerless; typing on this computer is exhausting my reserves. Patience is a virtue, and while I never much cared for the concept of virtue, patience has always been a trait that has served me well.

While I'm sad to see that the last member of the bitch's family that remembered what she was has died, the pain that it has caused my Morrigan is worth it. If I were stronger, I would go to her and savor the taste of her tears. As it is, I'm seriously considering trying to influence this ridiculous excuse for a demon to pay a visit to her. I so wish to feel the sorrow in her thoughts, the pain of losing someone close. Consider it an appetizer.

My energies are spent. I shall contact you later, Seer.

/end firewall.

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: exhausted

Wow, that's...

*looks at Penny as the spell suddenly wears off*

Er, um... Ma'am? I don't rightly remember how we got in this here bed, and I'm not equipped to guess, right at this moment, but I'd take it as a kindness if you didn't vanquish me until we find out...

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: scared

/Firewalled against all but the Seer

I... am awake. It worked just as planned... I'm in the idiot Zhotar, and he has no clue. I have almost no control, yet, but I shall endeavour to subtly work my will. Right now, I have leveraged control of his left hand. It is awkward to type in this position, but I will persevere.

The good news is that I'm in Belthazor's abode. The bad news is that the bitch's pet tracker is... is... with Penny Halliwell...
Oh, I have no words, truly. Thankfully I have no control over his digestive tract, either, or this would be even more disgusting.

Damn, he needs his hand again. He shall pay for making me witness this... by the Source, he shall pay.

/End firewall

That idjit Turner left Balor all alone, locked in his room while he decided to work his way through the P section of the Halliwell family tree. And I thought that he couldn't go any lower...

Live and learn.

I'm gonna slide over there and get the kid out, and then... I have no idea. What do you do with an 11 year old, anyways? The rest of his family's gone loony, and his mom... I have no words. And sadly, no pictures.

Might as well get this done...

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: annoyed

*slides into Morrigan's apartment*

Well, this looks promising. Mo's staying up with her witch-y friends tonight, so I don't think she'll notice if I use her guest room. Heh...

Ooooh, and lookie here! She restocked her bar! Heh heh heh... Tonight's startin' to look up a bit. Much better than where it was heading, with that cute little Keiran thing... Never should have let her open her mouth... Lusty but so dumb, they are...

Now, for a drink and to see what's on tv. Much better indeed...

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: devious

So, yeah, back. Last time I went on a bender this bad, I woke up next to the Seer. In Budapest. Good times.

What'd I miss in the clean world? How many times did Turner go bad and blame the Source while I was gone? Let's see, three-four months... that'd be at least twice, right?

I'll post more later, when my head doesn't hurt so bad. And I can get this taste out of my mouth...

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: bored

We've gotta go through all of that again? No. Way.

Wait a minute, why does some bloodsucker get to make a choice that could destroy an entire universe? On the other hand, that does seem about par for the course....

So I'll be the lone voice of dissent; take 'em up on it. Lay waste to this damned reality. It's not worth a rat turd anyway. Go, take those that you care about, and let the rest of us be wiped out. Works for me. This universe probably deserves it. And it'll never know what hit it. A quick, probably painless death... what more could you ask? Far better than what most of it's inhabitants will get otherwise, and likely better than what they deserve.

C'mon. You know you want to...

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: numb

I swear, ya can't rest, even for a moment. I turn my back, and that idiot K'lyazar goes rogue, and starts randomly kidnapping people. Couldn't he have just wasted reporter boy? I'd have still killed him, but some of his cronies might have lived.

Whatever. I was getting tired of having to teach those idiots how to run a business. How did they survive this long? Moot point now. Gee, if I keep killing demons at this rate, maybe I can get the Cole Turner mass murder redemption deal. How many do you have to vanquish before you get the white hat?

In other news, Mo continues to act weird. I think it's that horrible corporation she works for. Sad that she held her soul so dear, then sold it for a corner office and a personal assistant. At least she was in charge of the Brotherhood... sorta.

I can't wait to see what kind of loser steps up to fill the void left by the K'ly's recently departed crew. Whoever, I'll have to explain to them whose territory they're operating in... should be fun.

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: annoyed

Dude, Mo, I know that you're tryin' to be a white hat now... and I'm not even going there, *cough* Cole's success level *cough*...

But a cookout? At a homeless teens shelter? Tell me that you were recruiting, or something... 'cause otherwise, I'm going to your apartment and putting Yanni in your cd changers...

And hey, I see that they had weenies there...

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: confused

Alright, Ms. H, I got it. Where should I deliver this? I mean, you being up there and all, not like they'll just let me in, right?

I love lower level racketeering-type demons, really I do. They pop so easily...

K'lyazar will no longer be a problem. Once his enforcer became a smear on the floor, he saw the error of his ways and signed up with the winning team. And such a good deal it was! He leaves Kolchak the Nut Stalker alone, and forks over half of his earnings, and he survives until tomorrow night! Such a deal...

So. Mo... What next?

What the hell is wrong with people???

Mo, for reasons that I have yet to figure out, agrees to help Jimmy Olsen out of his well deserved pickle. Then out of nowhere, she starts acting like she's all of that and a bag of chips. Those expensive, thick chips, in a really odd flavor, like sea salt and dill or something.

I thought Mo was going to barbecue me when I was polite to her friend the other night at dinner. Hey, I learned my lesson... no humans...

Whatever. I'm going to go get drunk do something useful.

Am I ansgting, bitching, moaning or something else?: restless

Guess what? Geraldo's got a secret...

And it was so very easy to find...

I'll drop by later, fill you in, somewhere more.. private.

Damn, I'm good.